They’re gone, but you’re still here. The place they used to sit, now empty. Furniture is missing, and everything is quieter than ever before. This is a hard time, and life’s circumstances make it even harder. You may ask yourself what you’re supposed to do now? How can you go to sleep in this deafening silence? It’s hard, we know that. Here are some tips for dealing with this new, daunting change in your life.
- Let Yourself Be SadRepression of your true feelings will only make them harder to face head-on later on. Recognize that your sadness is normal, understandable, and valid. Be comfortable wallowing, embrace the fact that your feelings are natural, and that even though you’re going through a hard time, you still have brighter days ahead.
- Know the CycleDealing with a traumatic breakup is quite similar to grieving other things, such as the death of a loved one. You will search for answers, though you may not find any. There may be a period of denial, the feeling in your gut that thinks this might just be a bad dream, that it can’t be happening. Then bargaining, asking to get back together, to change things, to be better. Maybe you may feel you can fix the problems that divided you and your partner, but this is an act of desperation that shouldn’t be acted upon.
Know that you will have a period of anger, of hatred, of resentment. You might feel an extreme anger towards yourself, towards your partner, towards what you’re going through. You will question everything, and place all the blame on yourself. This is normal. Finally, you will reach acceptance. You realize that it is in fact over. It’s done. Let them go, and accept that things are different now. You will feel calm, peaceful, and ready to move on.
- Do Something NewExercise, read a book, watch a movie, or go out with friends. Do something you haven’t done in a long time. Remind yourself that you are still alive and that you can still do what you want to do. This will give you a sense of freedom, and allow you to take your mind off of the loss.
- Change Your EnvironmentBuy new furniture, paint the walls, and rearrange the room. This will allow you to start fresh, to feel like you’re in a new place, with new people, and with new emotions. This can lead to a feeling of intense relief and personal freedom.
- Talk About Your FeelingsBe open about how you feel. Don’t bottle it up. Don’t worry about how your friends and family react. Tell them how you feel. Tell them how hard it is, that you’re confused, that you’re angry. Allow them to help you through this, and to offer you a listening ear. You are not perfect. You are not a machine. You are human. Allow yourself to have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month. This is a part of the process, and it is completely okay. You will get through this, stronger than you were before.
The Universal Truth
Every breakup is different, and every person is different. These tips are not an absolute solution to a problem that is completely unique to you, but they can be helpful. There is no perfect way to heal, but there is a way through. You’ll get through this, and you’ll be stronger than you were before.