It’s hard to keep a relationship going. Once the warm fuzzy glow of picnics and dinner-dates give way to the hard lumpy cold of long nights on the couch, relationships can become a chore. There are a few ways around having to endure constant arguments, passive aggressive criticisms and the inevitable break-up. They’re not always what you might think either.
Here are few things you can do to ensure your marriage lasts a little bit longer than the wedding cake.
Sleep in different beds
It’s perhaps not everyone’s idea of a good step in the relationship department, but studies show that couples who bunk in the same bed every night get less sleep than their single brethren. On average people are awoken six times a night by their partner, which amounts to two whole hours of sleep loss a night. Now, as everyone knows, losing a night’s sleep does not improve your mood and when you’re a bit on the grumpy side and your partner is also not in the greatest of spirits, it’s not going to lead to a productive day in the relationship department.
The only solution is to sleep in different beds, at least a few nights of the week. It might not be the most romantic notion but, then again, neither is being single.
Spend time apart
After a while it can be hard to tell where the person ends and the partner begins. We see some couples together so much in the media that sobriquets like “Brangelina” and “Bennifer” have become commonplace. The thing is, doing everything together is not necessarily the healthiest thing in the world. You are rarely going to find two people who love exactly the same hobbies, so why try and share these past-times with someone who doesn’t actually enjoy them? In fact, a ten-year study by the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that engaging in hobbies that only one partner likes and the other merely endures is pretty much the worst thing that you can do in a relationship.
Don’t bottle up you emotions
Communication is the buzzword in any relationship building exercise. Be it a job, a sports team or a marriage, talking to your partner is always encouraged. The thing with communicating is knowing when to speak your mind and when to keep quiet. Don’t decide to speak out when you’ve had a particularly bad day and are looking for someone to take it out on. This will not end well. Instead, talk about a problem as it arises. Most of us, unless we really love confrontation, aren’t used to discussing issues as they come up, instead we let them fester until eventually we explode with rage. How about talking the issue through when it arises and not letting it linger like a bad smell in the air? It’s surely better than the alternative.
Lie to yourself
One of the single biggest boosts to a relationship and one that is a bit difficult to practice, is lying to yourself about how great your partner is. It turns out the happiest couples in the world are not necessarily the ones who have the most in common or who can tolerate each other’s inevitable failings, they’re the ones who are most able to trick themselves into believing something that isn’t necessarily true. A study that looked at hundreds of couples over a number of years found that happy spouses rated their partner higher, on everything from looks to intelligence, than they actually were. This serves two purposes: it helps protect the couple when the honeymoon period ends and also boosts the ego of the person involved.
So, there you go, a few simple tips to have the most harmonious of relationships.